In fact, those bonds of family are our anchors in this age where everything moves increasingly faster, where our lives can change overnight with a layoff, a cancer diagnosis, or an order to go to Iraq, and we are helplessly swept along in the tide of vicissitudes and upheavals.  Those bonds of family are what keep us grounded, keep us sane, and provide us a bit of shelter in this cold, difficult world.

Family is all the more precious to those of who are gay because so many of us risk losing them simply because of who we are.  I dreaded my parents’ reaction when I came out to them… for a few days, a few weeks even I thought that I might have permanently damaged those bonds.  I can’t say that those bonds have fully healed, but at least the immediate danger of losing them completely is gone.  There’s nothing scarier in this world than to think your parents might abandon you simply for who you are, and it’s something that I wouldn’t wish on anyone else.

With very few exceptions, we are born with our family, we can’t choose them.  We can’t go down the street to the courthouse to get a new mom or dad, a new brother or sister.  We have to make the best of what we’re given at birth, come what may.

There is only one exception to this rule, one family member that we all have the right to choose.  Well, I should say that YOU have the right to choose since we don’t.  You have one choice, one chance in this life to share with someone the intimacy, shelter, love, and companionship of being married, of forming your own family.

That’s what marriage today is about.  Whether it’s just the two of you or you have kids, whatever your race or religion might be, whether you married your high-school sweetheart or found a new love in your golden years, however you choose to express your love and commitment to each other, your marriage is your choice to share your life with someone and to build one together.

Your husband or wife is the one family member that you get to pick.  That’s your choice, your chance.  Shouldn’t we get that chance too?

In the last year or so my Francophilia has taken shape as a love of French music. No I don’t mean Debussy and Ravel, but the latest wave of French house and electro-pop that was spearheaded by groups like Daft Punk and DJs like David Guetta, and has more recently seen acts like Justice and Yelle. There are also a whole bunch of DJ’s who broadcast their weekly sessions via podcasts and it’s a really convenient (and free!) way to check out new music. Some acts I recommend checking out include David Vendetta, Greg Di Mano, Bastien Sera, and David Guetta.

I found out about Yelle after hearing about the Tecktonik dance style in Têtu and checking out the videos online of Tecktonik dancers. The Tepr remix of “A Cause des Garçons” is pretty awesome and shows Tecktonik at it’s most fun, and after previewing some of Yelle’s other tracks on her debut album “Pop Up” I decided to buy the entire thing. Her songs are pretty hilarious, from “Tu es beau” which is about how a boy tries so hard to please her but can’t quite manage to close the deal, or “Mon meilleur ami” about her vibrator, or “Je veux te voir” which (according to Wikipedia) is dissing some French rappers for being misogynistic.

Shortly thereafter I found out that she was touring the USA and performing at the Highline Ballroom in NY so of course I had to check it out. I went along with CEO and GBB, and we had a smashing time. The doors opened a little late so we stood outside in the surprisingly cold May night chugging Amstel Lights. We were pretty buzzed by the time we finally got in and ready to dance! The opening act was Heartsrevolution and the singer came out holding something pink in a martini glass and clearly trashed. The singer, or rather screamer, was so loud that I ended up holding my ears through their entire act and I was cringing inside as to whether I’d come to the wrong show.

But when Yelle finally took the stage the vibe changed completely. She came out sporting her gold coat and her sexy swagger and instantly got the crowd dancing. She was backed up by Tepr on the turntable and GrandMarnier on the drums (so hot!) and they delivered an awesome set, which went through basically the entire Pop Up album, and she nailed every single song. I can’t wait for the next time they swing by the states!